Taco Bell Customer Satisfaction Questionnaire by Susan L. Lin

Taco Bell Customer Satisfaction Questionnaire | Susan L. Lin

Welcome to the Taco Bell Customer Satisfaction Questionnaire. Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to bare your heart and soul to a group of data analysts on the Internet. We appreciate your honest feedback. 

Store Number/Location: 

Date of Visit (MM/DD/YYYY): 

Section I: True or False 

Please respond to each of the following statements as truthfully as you can. 

1. This was my first visit to any Taco Bell restaurant. 

2. This was my first visit to this particular Taco Bell location. 

3. Arriving at this restaurant was like finding an oasis in the middle of a hot desert. 

4. Arriving at this restaurant was like finding powdered cinnamon in the middle of a hot dessert.

5. My food looked/sounded/felt/smelled/tasted like my childhood stuffed into a paper sack. 

6. I was provided with sufficient napkins to soak up my nostalgic/bittersweet tears. 

7. I was very satisfied with my overall dining experience. 

8. I am likely to return to this location again.

Section II: Multiple Choice Fill-in-the-Blank 

Please choose the word clusters that best complete the following sentences. 

9. If I were holding a Taco Bell _____ right now, I would no longer feel _____ or _____. 

A. Mexican Pizza; hungry; Italian 

B. MTN DEW® Baja Blast® Freeze; my fingers; my thumbs 

C. cash register; hopeless; short-changed 

D. employee; horny; alone 

E. all of the above 

10. _____ is the reason Taco Bell _____ my _____ every day and/or night. 

A. The color purple; catches; eye 

B. Fast, cheap food; finds its way into; stomach 

C. A fond childhood memory; permeates; thoughts 

D. An unpleasant childhood memory; haunts; nightmares 

E. all of the above

Section III: Short Essays 

Please select two prompts from the list below and respond appropriately with well-developed thesis statements and supporting arguments. 

11. If you were given the opportunity to create your perfect custom Taco Bell Chalupa, what would the secret ingredient be? Why? 

12. If you were given the opportunity to design your dream Taco Bell hotel, what would the guest keys look/feel/sound like? Why? 

13. If Taco Bell discontinued your favorite menu item tomorrow, would we trigger the apocalypse? Why or why not? 

14. If Taco Bell brought back everyone’s favorite discontinued menu item tomorrow, would we finally achieve world peace? Why or why not?

Section IV: The “Are You a Robot?” Math Section 

To confirm your humanity, calculate the solution to this simple algebra problem. Please show your work. 

15. In the distant future, you’re exiting the last Taco Bell on Earth with a greasy paper sack full of delicious warm food. You are, however, in a foul mood because the restaurant was experiencing an alarming shortage of salsa verde packets. “How exactly is one expected to live más when all our basic condiments have been stripped away?” you wail, shaking your fist at the heavens. That’s when you notice a hot air balloon rising vertically into the sky at a steady velocity of 1.5 ft/sec from a launch pad roughly 30 feet away. Whoever is picnicking inside the basket waves an elusive red bottle above their head. “Fire sauce!” they yell. “Want to feel the flames?” You peer inside your bag. The Crunchwrap Supreme® at the top could indeed use a little kick. “Toss it my way!” you reply, but the stranger ignores your command. Instead, 22 seconds after the start of their aeronautical journey, they simply allow the hot sauce to fall from their open hands. How fast must you now run to catch the bottle before it shatters on the pavement? 

Thank you for completing the Taco Bell Customer Satisfaction Questionnaire. We will never sell your personal information to third parties. If you choose to share your email address below, you will be entered to win a lifetime supply of reheated Doritos® Locos Tacos and the one-million- dollar equivalent of our Taco Bell x Dogecoin ‘90s throwback Chihuahua Pog® cryptocurrency.

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