“Guten Tag, Baby!” by Scott C. Sickles

“Guten Tag, Baby!” | Scott C. Sickles

Cast of Characters 

ELEANOR: 75-years-old, in early stages of dementia. Given to flights of nostalgia.  

VIVIENNE: 42-years-old. ELEANOR’s daughter. Tired from the long drive and from taking care of her mother. 

DES: 15-year-old gender non-conforming female.  VIVIENNE’s daughter. Original name: Desdemona. 

ARMAND: 30’s. A dashing fellow. ELEANOR’s idea of handsome. Impeccably dressed for a road trip in 1976. 

Playwright’s Note: Dialogue in parentheses is provided for context and is not to be  spoken. Under no circumstances is dialogue in quotation marks to be accompanied by  finger quotes. Ever. 

Content warning. References to sexual assault. It does not happen onstage. 

Scene 

The U Drop Inn in Shamrock, Texas, on Historic U.S. Route 66. 

Time 

July 3, 2019.

SETTING: The U Drop Inn Café. Shamrock, Texas, on Route  66. July 3. 2019. Afternoon. There’s a restaurant booth. (The Café only seems to have a counter or booths, no tables that I can find.)  The counter is referred to but having it onstage is optional. Some action takes place outside but this need not be designated at the top, so long as it’s clear when it happens. 

AT RISE: ELEANOR and DES sit in the booth. ELEANOR – 75 – looks around positively aglow. Her grandchild, DES – 15; gender-neutral, formerly and occasionally “Desdemona” – basks in their grandmother’s joy. VIVIENNE walks in, taking off her sunglasses and putting them in her purse as she joins them, DES sliding to the middle so ELEANOR and VIVIENNE are on the outside of the booth.

VIVIENNE 

Good thing we made the reservation so far in advance. Turns out there are no more vacancies. 

(Looks around.) 

Why is the place so empty…? 

DES 

There’s some event going on down the road. I think it’s a Fourth of July carnival… 

VIVIENNE 

Maybe we can check it out. Did you order yet? 

DES 

We were waiting for you. The server said to wave her over when we’re ready. 

VIVIENNE 

Good. Because I am starving. 

(To ELEANOR) 

Mom? Have you looked at the menu? 

(ELEANOR is still caught in her reverie.) 

VIVIENNE (Cont’d) 

Mom? You okay?

ELEANOR 

Yes, yes, yes. 

VIVIENNE 

Is the place like you remember it? 

ELEANOR 

Oh, no. No, no, no. 

VIVIENNE 

I’m sorry you’re disappointed— 

ELEANOR 

No, it’s much nicer. Back then it was all red, white and blue. 

VIVIENNE 

For the Bicentennial? 

ELEANOR 

I think it was that way anyway. But this… is so pretty. 

DES 

The architecture is lovely, isn’t it, Grandma? I love art deco. 

ELEANOR 

It was like that back then, of course. The colors may have changed but the Tower… the diner… 

(She trails off. VIVIENNE and DES wait a moment for her to speak, but she says nothing.) 

VIVIENNE 

Have a look at the menu. You can tell us if that’s changed or not. 

ELEANOR 

Thank you, Vivienne! I know you didn’t want to come— 

VIVIENNE 

I wouldn’t say that… 

ELEANOR 

But you indulged my whim and I… I… 

VIVIENNE 

Anything to help you remember. 

(Under her breath.) 

Even if it means coming here—

ELEANOR 

Desdemona. 

DES 

It’s just Des, Grandma. 

ELEANOR 

This is where I met your grandfather. 

DES 

I know. You told me— 

ELEANOR 

I was sitting at the counter right over there. Forty-three years ago, today. What is today? 

VIVIENNE 

Still only the third, Mom. 

ELEANOR 

Forty-three years ago tomorrow… 

(VIVIENNE has heard this before, so she peruses the menu, but DES is rapt.) 

ELEANOR 

And your grandfather, Desdemona, he came up to me… sweet and handsome as anything… and said… 

(ARMAND appears (at the counter if there is one). He’s in his 30s, handsome, dashing, suave, and very sweet; impeccably yet comfortably dressed for a long drive.) 

ARMAND/ELEANOR 

“Guten Tag, Baby!” 

(DES laughs, surprised, while VIVIENNE is unamused. ARMAND and ELEANOR’s eyes remain) 

DES 

“Guten Tag?!” 

VIVIENNE 

(With disdain, to herself) 

“Baby…”

DES 

Did he think you were German? 

ELEANOR 

He wasn’t taking any chances. See, I was driving Route 66 all the way from Chicago to Santa Monica. He and his friends, there were a dozen of them altogether, were driving in the other direction, from Santa Monica to Chicago. Well, I just looked at him and said,  “No. Ich spreche Englisch, Baby.” And he laughed and said… 

ARMAND 

Mea maxima culpa! My friends and I just came from the Grand Canyon. There are so many German tourists there that even the menus are in English and Deutshe. Anyway, we’re a classic car club and we’re doing exhibitions all along the highway. You should come see us tomorrow. 

ELEANOR 

I’m afraid I’m heading west. 

ARMAND 

Then we need to make the most of tonight! 

ARMAND/VIVIENNE 

(ARMAND with grandeur, VIVIENNE with quiet disdain.) 

Dance with me! 

ELEANOR 

Normally, I would have told a man like that to take a hike, but your grandfather… 

ARMAND 

I’m Armand, by the way. 

ELEANOR 

I just couldn’t resist. 

(ELEANOR rises and meets ARMAND and they dance.) 

VIVIENNE 

Mom, what are you doing? You can’t do that here— 

DES 

Just let her. 

VIVIENNE 

We’re in a restaurant.

DES 

And we’re the only ones here. She’s happy. If someone comes in, I’ll get her.

(VIVIENNE begrudgingly relents.) 

ELEANOR 

Of course the place looked a lot different at night. The lights were lower, and the neon glowed in the windows. It was magical. 

DES 

Sounds wonderful, Grandma. 

VIVIENNE 

(Quietly to DES) 

And I’m sure it was. But I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about your grandfather. I know she remembers him as being this… this wonderful, carefree, charming man. 

DES 

We’re lucky she remembers him at all. 

VIVIENNE 

I know. You’re right. It’s just I have heard this story so many times— 

DES 

And is this how she usually tells it? 

VIVIENNE 

Almost word for word— 

DES 

Isn’t that important? Look, I get that you resent him for leaving. And you’re right. And I’m sure hearing this again is the last thing you want right now. But you know the story; I don’t. So, I won’t know if she’s gone off track and started making things up. You will. 

VIVIENNE 

I hate you for being right. 

DES 

I know. It’s my burden. 

VIVIENNE 

But if I’m going to make sure she remembers him accurately, I’m going to make sure you remember him accurately too.

(As they talk, ARMAND and ELEANOR finish the dance. They gaze into each other’s eyes a moment. He kisses her hand.) 

VIVIENNE (Cont’d) 

You’re old enough. I want you to have the whole picture. 

DES 

And I look forward to it. But for now— 

(ARMAND glides away and watches as ELEANOR rejoins VIVIENNE and DES at the booth.) 

DES (Cont’d) 

Oh, you’re back. 

ELEANOR 

Of course I am; the song ended. Vivienne, thank you for bringing me here. 

VIVIENNE 

You already thanked me, Mom. 

ELEANOR 

It’s so kind of you to indulge me. Ever since I got that letter from your father, I couldn’t wait to come back. 

VIVIENNE 

Sorry, what? 

ELEANOR 

I’m so glad we could get here in time for the holiday. 

VIVIENNE 

Dad wrote to you? 

ELEANOR 

I showed you the letter. Don’t you remember? 

VIVIENNE 

No, Mom, you definitely didn’t show me any letter. 

ELEANOR 

I must have it here somewhere. 

(ELEANOR looks in her purse.)

VIVIENNE 

He can’t possibly have… (written her) 

DES 

Maybe it’s an old letter…? 

VIVIENNE 

I didn’t think he was even… (alive) 

DES 

Or she’s imagining it. Who writes letters anymore? 

(ARMAND comes over and puts it in ELEANOR’s hands.) 

ELEANOR 

Here it is! Now, do you remember? 

(VIVIENNE is too shocked to respond.) 

DES 

Can you tell us what it says, Grandma? 

ELEANOR 

Why don’t you read it? I don’t want to go through my purse again to find my glasses… 

DES 

I’d love to. 

(VIVIENNE just watches as ELEANOR passes DES the letter. DES looks at the postmark.) 

DES 

The postmark says he’s— 

VIVIENNE 

I don’t want to know where he is. 

DES 

Okay. 

(DES removes the letter, unfolds it, and smiles at what she sees.) 

DES (Cont’d) 

“Guten tag, Baby.”

(ELEANOR basks in the greeting as DES, knowing her mother doesn’t want to hear the contents, reads it to herself for a moment. Then removes something else from the envelope.) 

DES (Cont’d) 

He sent a photo. 

ELEANOR 

That’s the two of us posing in front of the tulip. That’s what they call the thingy on top of  the tower out front. That photo was taken the night we met. A friend of your grandfather found an old roll of film and was able to get it developed. And this was on it! 

DES 

You were a beautiful couple. 

VIVIENNE 

Does he look disappointed? Because that’s how I remember him. 

ELEANOR 

Oh, Vivienne, stop harping on your father! He loved you very much, you know that! 

VIVIENNE 

No, I don’t. 

ELEANOR 

He would always go on and on about how strong and independent you were. 

VIVIENNE 

Like I had a choice. He always looked at me like… I don’t know. But he was never happy with me. Everyone else, he was Mr. Sunshine. But with me… 

ELEANOR 

Not because he didn’t love you. It’s just that you were a reminder. 

VIVIENNE 

Of what? 

ELEANOR 

That he couldn’t protect me.You remember. From that man at the motel. Not this motel. We passed it a while back. Or we passed where it was. It’s not there anymore. 

DES 

What man, Grandma?

ELEANOR 

You’re a young woman, now, and your generation knows everything anyway. I didn’t head West to California like I planned. Instead, I joined your grandfather and his friends and headed back to Chicago with them. We were all supposed to meet at a bar near the motel. While I was on my way, a man grabbed me and pulled me into his car. By the time anyone realized I was taking too long, it was over, and the man had driven off into the night. 

DES 

So they never caught him? 

ELEANOR 

How could they? Anyway, I told your grandfather and his friends that I was fine, but they  insisted on taking me to the police and the hospital. Of course, it’s Texas and I was a  woman on her way to a bar, so what could I expect?  

VIVIENNE 

My God, that’s horrible. 

ELEANOR 

It was. 

DES 

You seem very… I don’t know… calm about it? 

ELEANOR 

It was nearly forty-five years ago. Believe me, I wasn’t calm at the time. I guess there’s something to be said about indifference. It’s contagious. The people who were supposed to help me didn’t care, so I started to grow numb to it. Like the indifference prolonged the shock.  

But the people who didn’t have to help me… your grandfather, his friends… We had only  just met, they had places to be. They owed me nothing! But from that night on, Desdemona… I was never alone. 

DES 

Grandpa stayed with you? 

ELEANOR 

He or one of his friends. They let me cry all over them. They held me when I needed to  be held. Let me be when I needed solitude. But they were always nearby, just in case. Armand insisted on sharing my hotel room with me. Sometimes I’d want to be by myself,  so we’d get adjoining rooms and leave the door open just a crack in case anyone broke in. But no one ever did.  

They took care of me like proper gentlemen… like knights in armor… all the way back to Chicago. Armand and I got married the day we arrived. People thought it was a shotgun wedding, but we didn’t even know I was pregnant. You know. From the incident.

(This is a bombshell for both DES and especially VIVIENNE. DES looks at her mother, takes her hand, then turns to ELEANOR.) 

DES 

By the incident, you mean… 

ELEANOR 

The man at the motel. 

DES 

Wait, but… How did you know Armand wasn’t— 

ELEANOR 

Armand and I were never intimate in that way. He loved men. I didn’t care for sex one way or the other. And that was before what happened! After? Well… 

DES 

So, why did you get married? 

ELEANOR 

For him it was respectability. The 1970s weren’t exactly an easy time to be a man like Armand. And my parents were on my back constantly about being single. They were not what we called “liberated.” So, when I came home with a husband and a child on the  way… Vivienne, you and your father were my salvation. And they loved Armand! 

DES 

So why did he leave? 

ELEANOR 

He fell in love. I know you think it had something to do with you, Vivienne, but it didn’t. Not really. Though he was ashamed. Not only because he couldn’t protect me that night, but because that shame built such a wall between you. He once said— 

ARMAND 

If they made prisons out of what stands between me and my Viv, no one could ever escape. 

ELEANOR 

Even in sorrow, he was grand. 

DES 

He called her “his Viv”? 

ELEANOR 

All the time. And he blamed himself. For not being able to mean what a father is supposed to mean to his daughter. 

Fortunately, he found someone he could be happy with. I’d never stand in the way of  that. I loved him too much. He loved me the same, and if I had fallen in love with anyone else, he’d have let me go too. I never did, though. 

DES 

Weren’t you in love with Armand? Because when you talk about him, it sounds like— 

ELEANOR 

I believe Armand was the closest I ever came to falling in love. But no. Though I did love him. Honestly, I figured if I couldn’t fall in love with Armand, I probably didn’t have whatever component you need to fall in love with anybody. He truly was the most wonderful man I’ve never known. 

(To VIVIENNE) 

But I am sorry he couldn’t be a better father to you, Vivienne. And so is he. 

VIVIENNE 

What does he have to be sorry for? Turns out he’s not actually my father anyway.

(VIVIENNE rises.) 

ELEANOR 

What are you getting so upset about? It’s not like I haven’t told you all of this a million  times. 

VIVIENNE 

No, Mom. This was a first. 

(VIVIENNE runs out and stands outside the restaurant, preferably on the other side of a partition or in a wide spotlight.) 

DES 

Grandma, don’t go anywhere. I need to check on my mom. 

ELEANOR 

I promise. And, Des… Your grandfather would be so proud of you. You are so much like  him. So odd. So yourself. And also, so like your mother. He would love that. 

(DES smiles and pats ELEANOR’s hand, then runs and joins her mother “outside.” VIVIENNE is doubled over, catching her breath.) 

DES 

I know this is a stupid question but are you okay?

VIVIENNE 

I thought I was going to be sick. Fortunately, I haven’t eaten in forever so… 

DES 

Maybe it’s not true. Maybe her mind is just telling stories. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

VIVIENNE 

No, it’s true. It makes too much sense. He wasn’t always distant. Sometimes, he would  try so hard to connect with me. I think because he was so friendly and outgoing with everybody… I found it annoying, so when he was like that with me, it was just… too much. At least now, I understand why. 

(Pause.) 

My god, listen to me. My mother just told me she was… (raped) And I’m making it all about me. 

DES 

But it is about you. It’s about all of you. 

VIVIENNE 

I guess. 

DES 

Can I tell you what he wrote in his letter now? 

VIVIENNE 

Not yet. Later. Maybe later. 

(Inside, ELEANOR watches as VIVIENNE and DES embrace. ARMAND returns. He goes to her, kneels, lays his head in her lap asking for forgiveness. They look up at each other. She touches his face. 

ELEANOR 

Guten tag, baby. 

(ELEANOR kisses ARMAND’s forehead. They turn and look at their embracing daughter and grandchild.) 

(LIGHTS FADE) 

END OF PLAY

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