Once I Lived in Heaven by Mea Cohen

Once I Lived in Heaven | Mea Cohen

Remember when we were clumsy and gloomless? New lovers undressing in front of each other for the first time. I want to keep this story there. In the curls of your chest hair, in the uncrossing of my arms from my bare breasts. In the stroke of laughter from your lips as my fingers ran their way across your manhood. Oh, I said, surprised at my own bravery. Oh, I said, when you bravely found your way inside me. I want to keep the story there, in the sunlight that fell across your sweat-dappled forehead in the aftermath of our love. In the damp white sheet we turned into a tent and swore we’d never leave. 

Regarding loss, I’m afraid to bring it into the story, worried what I might bring back to life. Like my marble belly so swollen with time and excellent time. And how I woke one night to find my innards scattered around my knees. They say that blood from the belly tastes sweeter than blood from anywhere else. How we held each other differently that night, how we wept tears we’d never weep again. Christening tears for what wasn’t born right. Can tears christen what wasn’t born right? 

I kept dreaming I was a creature pulling out my wings to sell in a market stall, next to stacks of pomegranates and shovels. Once I lived in heaven with you, because I wanted to. 

We didn’t ask for God that night. Or any night thereafter.

About the Author:

Mea Cohen’s work has appeared in West Trade Review, OKAY Donkey, Big Whoopie Deal, Barely South Review, and more. In 2024, she was nominated for best micro-fiction. She earned her MFA in creative writing and literature from Stony Brook University, where she was a Contributing Editor for The Southampton Review. She is now the Founder and Editor in Chief for The Palisades Review and a Partnerships Manager at Stitcher.