Chia Shower Pet | Crockett Doob
No, it was just that Cora told me how you put chia seeds in water and drink it and it’s good for you and I was pliable enough at the time to try it but I’d stopped–it’d been years and I forgot all about chia seeds but when Ricki gave me Ray’s half gallon jug–“he says it makes smoothies taste too gummy”–I wanted to do it again and the muse struck and I thought this time I’d do it with herbal tea, but I forgot how I got the seeds in the bottle so I figured I better buy a funnel but when I cleaned it, I didn’t think to dry it so it was wet in the middle when I put the seeds in so they got stuck there in these clumps, and I didn’t have any chop sticks–I always forgot to ask–and what else besides chop sticks could get in the hole but then I thought, the shower head (the water gun setting) and I tried it and it worked, nailing the middle of the funnel, blasting the seeds out and I made my chia drink, finally, with herbal tea, and it looked beautiful and red and I made a video for Cora and so all was well; but then I was in the shower, a few days later, whatever it was, and I noticed a little plant coming out of the drain, and it was too much, like my apartment’s already on the edge, my Draino-addicted sinks, outside on the street, “our local puddle,” as I call it, which is like a car-sized puddle (two car-sized) that never goes away, all year long, this nasty green/brown puddle, and I live by the beach and sea levels are rising and I was like, and now I have plants sprouting out of my drain, but then I realized it was just a chia pet.
About the Author:
Crockett Doob lives in Rockaway Beach, NY, and does not surf. He plays drums in a vacant courthouse, works with autistic teenagers, and edits a documentary about a cemetery. His work has been published in Cleaver Magazine, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, Fiction Attic Press, and Does It Have Pockets.